All descriptions are written in hopes of putting an image into your head, and especially as sophomores, I believe that we are still learning how to write descriptions.
In this essay discussion, I am going to compare/contrast the author’s purpose, the intended audience, and the impact on the reader’s that each author intended to accomplish through the essay that they wrote; I also plan to show that the descriptive essay communicates the author’s point of view superior to that of the narrative essay....
Essay on journey by train for class 5 | VK
Avoid writing about yourself. You should give explains of people in general. Also think more carefully about how to support your arguments with strong ideas. Your second body paragraph has stronger ideas than the first. Be careful going too deeply into medical terminology when the actual topic is technology and society. This gives the impression you are a doctor and the only language you know well is medical language – being able to write two strong sentences with medical language will not give you a higher band score when the rest of your essay uses lower level language. Also check your grammar (plurals, articles) and vocabulary.
All the best